|| my.marionette [REALITY]-fied*

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

it's 12:24 AM.

Listening to: Colors - Utada Hikaru

Lots of things happened while I was away from my blog. Someone died again, and there's another crap I've been confused about for a few weeks now, and I finally went for the Pulau Semakau trip!!

My friend's dad passed away 2 days before his birthday due to some lung infection. I had no idea why I suddenly felt like crying even though it didn't happen to me. Well, I guess it's partly due to what happened in the past, and that I think I'm missing him already. Damn, I must be insane to miss that jerk.

Well, recently there's something which cropped up unexpectedly. There's this person, who I shall call 'WB' in short. No, it's not the initials of someone's name, but rather a nickname.. So anyway, this person appeared early this year, or so I suppose appeared this year. Well, we got along quite okay I guess, until he chanced upon my blog and read something he shouldn't have read. So the beans were spilled, and I sort of confessed that I like him after much pestering from him, with "a lil bit" after that statement. Unexpectedly, my feelings were some sort requited. It's supposed to be a good thing right? But I've been feeling really confused these past few weeks. What if he isn't really serious? What if he's the kind of person who dumps girls after 'getting' them? What if he's just joking? But one thing I'm certain of, is that I like him more after I went out with him on one occasion. But what if he's not the right guy for me? I didn't want to like anyone again after all that happened in the past. Not that I want to be left on the shelf or something, but I don't have the courage to devote my feelings to someone again...

However, whenever I have these thoughts, I somehow feel guilty. As in he seems nice almost everyday, like he tries to walk me home and stuff, and gives me money from his allowance because I used up all my allowance on my mom's birthday present, and here I am, assuming everything he's doing is for a motive. Maybe the right guy I'm looking for is actually someone who is able to build up my trust in people instead of someone who matches my 8 criterias...

Darn, it's 12.19am already, and I have Mid-year Oral Exams tomorrow!!! Ok, I think I'll post my Pulau Semakau trip account some other day..

peace_out.

randomly defined.

I am beautiful,
no matter what they say;
'cause words can't bring me down.

email

archives.

shut up.

thankyous.

layout by, yours truly.
images by, Photobucket.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

it's 12:24 AM.

Listening to: Colors - Utada Hikaru

Lots of things happened while I was away from my blog. Someone died again, and there's another crap I've been confused about for a few weeks now, and I finally went for the Pulau Semakau trip!!

My friend's dad passed away 2 days before his birthday due to some lung infection. I had no idea why I suddenly felt like crying even though it didn't happen to me. Well, I guess it's partly due to what happened in the past, and that I think I'm missing him already. Damn, I must be insane to miss that jerk.

Well, recently there's something which cropped up unexpectedly. There's this person, who I shall call 'WB' in short. No, it's not the initials of someone's name, but rather a nickname.. So anyway, this person appeared early this year, or so I suppose appeared this year. Well, we got along quite okay I guess, until he chanced upon my blog and read something he shouldn't have read. So the beans were spilled, and I sort of confessed that I like him after much pestering from him, with "a lil bit" after that statement. Unexpectedly, my feelings were some sort requited. It's supposed to be a good thing right? But I've been feeling really confused these past few weeks. What if he isn't really serious? What if he's the kind of person who dumps girls after 'getting' them? What if he's just joking? But one thing I'm certain of, is that I like him more after I went out with him on one occasion. But what if he's not the right guy for me? I didn't want to like anyone again after all that happened in the past. Not that I want to be left on the shelf or something, but I don't have the courage to devote my feelings to someone again...

However, whenever I have these thoughts, I somehow feel guilty. As in he seems nice almost everyday, like he tries to walk me home and stuff, and gives me money from his allowance because I used up all my allowance on my mom's birthday present, and here I am, assuming everything he's doing is for a motive. Maybe the right guy I'm looking for is actually someone who is able to build up my trust in people instead of someone who matches my 8 criterias...

Darn, it's 12.19am already, and I have Mid-year Oral Exams tomorrow!!! Ok, I think I'll post my Pulau Semakau trip account some other day..

peace_out.